Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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