Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
