At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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