This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
