Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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