margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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