someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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