wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
