i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
