I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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