i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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