the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
