They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The air was thick with penises
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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