I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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