Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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