Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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