Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
