just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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