Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Two words: blizzard sex
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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