He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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