I wish I could punch you in the face.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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