My liver just broke up with me...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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