All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
