he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
