how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
