my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
