I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
