Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
