New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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