In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
