Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
literally had 100 drinks last night.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
