Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
