Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
