If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
