She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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