I'm lost and stupid without you.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
so much tequila, so little girl.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize