kristin has been a bad kristin
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You are a genius and a whore.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
