I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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