I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
