Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize