I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
