The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
