why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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