my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
