So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
