and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
