South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
