nut hugger
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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