i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
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