you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
