i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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