I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize