Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
