So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
