you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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