omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
