Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
