No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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