wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
