i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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