I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We are two peas in an std pod
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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