I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
