Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
