They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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